did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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