Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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