I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
