Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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