we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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