Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
