porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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