It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
