..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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