those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
