from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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