You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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