Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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