is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
