i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The air was thick with penises
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
