Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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