Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
