look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
