i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Watching her eat just hurts me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Ladies don't puke and tell
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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