Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
