Don't make out with my wife yet
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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