i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
