Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize