i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize