yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
