officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
