But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's shark week go big or go home
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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