Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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