Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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