you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
