That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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