I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
