I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
