i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
