My nipple is on Facebook.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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