summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
