woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
