Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
