If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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