I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize