the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
