i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
