Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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