My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
