i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
