went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
