I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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