On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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