Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
don't judge my taste in strippers
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize