theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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