I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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