I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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