I love black thongs
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
