The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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