Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
