Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
