So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
