girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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