if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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