i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
